Search Results

Christmas just loves to push people's buttons. Especially when they have an eating disorder! It wants them to dress up nice, take photos, have a feast, have another feast, and another one, answer questions, skip the gym, take compliments, give compliments, spread the joy, feel the joy, reflect on the year, consider the future, and -ugh- socialise… That's a lot when someone already feels uncomfortable in their own skin. Christmas wants them to do it all - while having less access to the supports, places and routines that help them to feel stable. But they better not shout and they better not cry! They better not pout… Right? There's something so silencing about 'special' days. "Just let it go for today, it's Christmas!" "Now I can't let go of the fact that I can't let go!" It doesn't take much before we're sitting around in our Santa hats, smiling at each other through gritted teeth. If your loved one has an eating disorder, they may experience Christmas as the single, worst, time of year - especially when it's expected to be the best. They might feel quite guilty about it, too. We think your loved one deserves an easier time, and so do you. So here are some ideas on how you can support your loved one this Christmas: Be an imperfectionist Your loved one is under constant pressure, even when it's not Christmas. So if you can find a way to take some pressure off and to normalise all things imperfect during the 'happiest season,' you will be giving them the chance to exhale a little. You'd be surprised at what a gift that can be! It's useful to feel useful Sometimes the best way to cope is by helping others. Your loved one might struggle to eat with everyone else, but that doesn't mean they don't want to help prepare the food, or get involved in other parts of the day. Why not talk about it beforehand? A light plan could be the anchor they need. Are we having fun yet? Sometimes an -actually- fun day, requires a little less conversation and a little more fun. Try breaking up the day with some activities; games, karaoke, movies, PlayStation, water fights, art, etc. It doesn't have to be big, and it doesn't have to be expensive. Anything playful and silly will do. Safe foods are foods Your loved one probably isn't jumping for joy at the thought of gravy and pudding, but that doesn't mean they don't want to eat at all. If your loved one wants to stick with their safe foods, it's best to support them in that choice. Achievable is better than impossible. Have their back It can be hard when other loved ones are involved. They might have questions, opinions - concerns. They may not have the best filters, either. But this is not an appropriate time or setting for their comments and questions. You can support your loved one by keeping their personal life and their eating disorder out of the spotlight as much as possible. Time outs are a good thing. Your loved one will be juggling a lot, and they may get tired quickly. So, it's a good idea to plan some recharge time into the day. You can talk with your loved one and their team about the kinds of sensory tools, grounding activities, and/or other calming strategies they have found useful, and then you can incorporate those into some planned time-out breaks throughout the day. Diet culture, be gone! A table full of loved ones is a beautiful thing, and oh so risky. The more people there are, the more likely it is that someone will say something problematic. Whether it's a comment on physical appearance - positive or negative, a comment about so-and-so's kid who's 'just doing so well' and 'you should be more like them,' or a suggestion that one is being 'naughty' today because they're eating XYZ - it won't be helpful. Problematic comments can affect your loved one, deeply. It's a good idea to take diet talk and sensitive topics off the table, wherever possible. Consistency is key If your loved one has been advised by their team to take important measures as part of their recovery, such as avoiding the bathroom after meals, using calming techniques before eating, or staying with other people during and after meal times, then it is important to keep these going during Christmas. You can work with your loved one and their team to learn about which measures are okay to relax a little, and which ones are important to maintain. Be mindful of the big picture An eating disorder is often just the tip of the iceberg. Many people are simultaneously wrestling with gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship dynamics, trauma, perfectionism, obsessive-compulsive behaviours, anxiety, depression, substance use, neurological differences, and so on. It is possible that your loved one is dealing with more than just their eating disorder, which means they may need support and consideration in a variety of ways. It's a good idea to ask your loved one about the different ways they would like to be supported, and to arrange any additional supports in advance. Check in and seek help Eating Disorders are complex. Every person experiences them differently and it's okay - and quite normal - to feel overwhelmed at times. You and your loved one may require some extra help during the Christmas period. Try to check in with your loved one, and yourself, regularly, and if you do need some extra support, you can always contact the butterfly foundation at: Web: https://butterfly.org.au Phone: 1800 ED HOPE Navigating the holiday period with an eating disorder can be difficult, but with a little support from loved ones and some active planning, it can certainly be manageable. If you would like to enquire about individual or parent support for eating disorders ahead of the holiday period, you can contact us at: Email: info@treatyourselfwell.com.au Phone: 9555 4810 We wish you a loving and manageable Christmas!

Lived Experience: Why it matters, deciding whether to disclose it, and finding a psychologist with it. By coming out as neurodivergent, you become part of the change. You publicly own it, you become a shining light for other neurodivergent people who might be too scared, too ashamed or too unsafe to do the same. You become a force that says "I acknowledge the state of things, I acknowledge I shouldn't have to do this, AND yet, I'm here, I'm neuroqueer, and I'm used to it. One day you could be too." Neurodivergent people shouldn't 'have' to come out any more than gay or trans people should have to. And some literally can't. But it is the coming out that makes the change. Without Pride and Mardi Gras - both of which should never have been 'necessary' - the LGBTQIA+ community would still be where they were. They'd be riddled with shame, discrimination, abuse; there's no way Gen Z would be where they are with fluidity and self-exploration if the people who came before them only advocated from behind hetero-presenting masks. It took 'loud and proud' for LGBTQIA+ people in the closet to find some self-acceptance and self-ownership they could look up to. The same has been the case for people living in larger bodies. Look at Taryn Brumfitt. Her reversed before and after photo shouldn't have been necessary - but it was necessary because fatphobia exists in the world. How can we change fatphobia without neutral and positive exposure to body fat? Taryn chose to be part of that change, which required a certain kind of ownership over her own body - an "I'm not scared of my body, it is what it is, and here it is" kind of ownership. She could have lost everything by doing that. It was a huge risk, and she did face a lot of negativity in doing it. But doesn't that just highlight her reason for doing it in the first place? Taryn could have just spread her body acceptance message while she was still bodybuilding, but instead, she decided to accept her body and acknowledge, not just with words, but with complete embodiment, that fatphobia is wrong. She allowed her body to find its natural state and that's what she publicly embraced. That's what she put out into the world, and despite all of the risk, she helped others to see that a healthy and happy body is an okay thing to be okay with. Now, Taryn has been named Australian of the year for 2023 and her body image movement reaches millions around the globe. The truth is, people in larger bodies never catch a break from fatphobia. And If people in larger bodies can't catch a break, then neither can people in smaller bodies - because both end up fearing fatness. The same goes for neurodivergent people. Those who can't mask never catch a break from ableism. And if neurodivergent people who can't mask can't catch a break, then neither can people who do mask - because both end up fearing neurodivergence. That's the stigma cycle, and it's fuelled by a world that constantly convinces its minorities that something is wrong with them. That's why people in larger bodies needed Taryn Brumfitt to publicly own her real body, and that's why neurodivergent people need their own advocates who can do the same. People need to see the acceptance happening in front of them, undeniable and blatant, in those who are actually living in and embracing bodies and brains just like their own. They crave that. Don't we all? That's why proudly disclosed lived experience will always be the most powerful liberator of any stigmatised minority. There is a lot of power in someone standing up and personally demonstrating, to whoever wants to know: "Yeah, this is me. This is exactly who I am, and I see no reason to hide." But, there are only a handful of Autistic and ADHD people, public figures, and professionals who are able to do that on a public scale right now. They are sharing perspectives that are real, they are setting the record straight on many false, neurotypical-endorsed and neurotypical-led narratives about the neurodivergent community, and they are part of the reason why the conversation is safe enough to have, and powerful enough to gain traction. It has not been without risk for them, either - they could have lost so much: public respect, safety, their careers, their rights, certain freedoms, and they still could! Coming out with lived experience is not all sunshine, lollipops and workplace accommodations - not in a world with so much stigma. Yet, without those Autistic & ADHD professionals and public figures who have outed themselves with pride, like Greta Thunberg, Hannah Gadsby, Chris Rock, Wentworth Miller, Chloe Hayden, etc, the entire movement would be a lot harder and slower, and maybe non-existent. If no-one came out, there would be no examples of actually Autistic or actually ADHD people liking themselves and setting the record straight about their experience. Shame would be everywhere, and change would be nothing more than a nice idea. So yes, those who have disclosed their lived experience have done, and are doing, a world of good for the neurodivergent community. Should you do the same? Only you get to decide that. If you can come out; if it's safe enough for you to do, if you want to be part of the change in that way, if you are aware of the risks and you have ways to protect yourself, if you are passionate about change, and if lived experience is part of the reason why you are so passionate, then maybe there is something in self-disclosure for you. But if you're not ready, then trust that you are doing everything you can from where you are, and you can find your own way to help the change along. You can come out (or not) in your own time. Noone has any right to make you feel pressured either way. People who disclose their lived experience are undeniably the biggest drivers of positive for their communities, and at the same time, they are some of the most vulnerable people around because of it. Many people and professionals, including psychologists, are somewhere in-between right now: wanting to be part of the change and doing their bit wherever they can, while grappling with the decision to come out, struggling with the fact that it even has to be a decision at all, and continuing to live the neurodivergent experience every day, while being overlooked and occasionally even dismissed by those who assume they are not neurodivergent. It's a reflection of the times; not every person in a larger body can be Taryn Brumfitt, and not every neurodivergent person can be Chloe Hayden. But every member of a minority - out or not - has valid lived experience which they can pay forward however they choose. If you're looking for a professional near you who has neurodivergent lived experience, they're probably closer than you think. You know how you can find them? Look for the passion, the interest, and the desire to be part of the conversation. Here's to change.

What is ADHD? ADHD (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder) is a label used to describe individuals whose early brain development and overall brain style appear - from a neurotypical viewpoint – to: 'show persistent patterns of inattention and/or hyperactivity/impulsivity which interfere with development and functioning.' That’s the label, but if you asked a neurodiversity-affirming psychologist, or a psychologist with lived experience of ADHD to define what ADHD actually is, they might say something like: ADHD is a human neurotype in which the dopamine regulation system prioritizes novelty, interest, challenge and urgency. Aka: it is the perfect brain style for leadership during the hunter-gatherer era. Unfortunately, today’s world is more predictable, orderly, and structured (*cough* - boring) than the hunter-gatherer era was, meaning that these traits aren't as valued and rewarded by society as they used to be. Instead, they are seen as ‘not fitting the system,’ or ‘too disruptive’ which, let’s be real, could just as easily be said about a cat who has been thrown into the ocean to live life as a fish… But that’s a discussion for another time. Doesn’t ADHD only happen in children? No. ADHD is most often identified in children, but that doesn't mean that children are the only ones with ADHD. In fact, ADHD is life-long - so if you are born with it, it’s here to stay and that’s okay! Can you be diagnosed with ADHD as an adult? Yes. You’d be surprised how many ADHDer’s are not identified in their school years. Most often, this is because they possess more inattentive signs of ADHD and were not highlighted for being 'disruptive' to other people in school. Or it’s because they have gone through their entire lives consciously and/or subconsciously masking all possible signs of being different (aka: having an ADHD brain). These people have had ADHD all along but just haven’t known it. It's never too late to be identified. Is ADHD different for adults? ADHD is ADHD at any age, but adults who are diagnosed later in life or not at all, do face some extra challenges and here's why. The world is currently neurotypical-favouring. So, going through life in this world with an unidentified, unsupported, and most importantly, unembraced ADHD brain, does put an individual at risk for developing a negative self-narrative. Unidentified ADHDer’s might know that they have loads of potential, and yet, always feel like they are not socializing, performing, or 'adulting' at the levels they ‘should’ be. Much of the time, they find themselves sacrificing their wellbeing, morals, health, and free time just to match the performance of their neurotypical peers. Other times, they just give up on trying all together. As a result of living unsupported and unembraced, most unidentified and late-identified ADHDer's will have developed various mental health concerns by the time they find out about their ADHD, such as: chronic depression, anxiety, eating disorders, complex trauma, perfectionism, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and more. What are the signs of ADHD? ADHD is diagnosed in individuals who possess traits classed as ‘inattentive’ and/or ‘hyperactive’ by the DSM 5. In the following table, we list the ADHD traits mentioned in the DSM 5, with some examples on how they may present in adults who mask. Innattentive ADHD Impulsive ADHD Want to find out more? To learn more or to enquire about our ADHD assessments, contact us at: info@treatyourselfwell.com.au, or give us a call on (02) 9555 4810.

What is Autism? Autism is a neurotype with presentations as varied and unique as the people who possess it. While no two autistic brains are the same, all autistic people share some, or all, of the following core features, which unite them as members of the autistic community: bottom-up, detail-oriented processing style need for structure and routine strong, focused interests social and communication differences emotional expression and regulation differences sensory processing differences Isn't Autism a disorder, not just a type of brain? Before we answer this, here is a not-so-fun fact: there was once a time when the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM) listed homosexuality as a disorder. Disappointing, right? But it did, and it took years of rigorous research and societal movement to bring us to the point where it was no longer acceptable, normal, or respectable, to think of homosexuality as a disorder. Well, the same thing is happening now with Autism. Just as it took time for more and more professionals to let go of labelling homosexuality as a disorder, this one is also taking some time, and it is still early in the process. Many professionals today - including the authors of the DSM and many autism tests and screeners – are still leaning on very old, outdated assumptions and models of autism. But that will change over time, and we – alongside many other neurodiversity-affirming professionals, researchers, and practices - are proudly committed to helping that change along. So, we can gladly answer: Autism is not a disorder, it is a style of brain. But if Autism isn’t a disorder, why do autistic people say they are disabled? The world as we know it is neurotypical-favouring. This means that most systems, mentalities, and facilities are built and developed for neurotypical people, and not for autistic people. Living in a world that isn’t made for you is a disabling experience – there is a lot you are just not able to do. Much like a plant that is unable to thrive in the dark, an autistic person is not able to thrive (easily) within neurotypical structures, ideals, expectations, and spaces. This disability to thrive does not come from the plant itself, or from the autistic person themselves; it comes from their unmet needs within their environments that don’t suit them. So, they are not inherently ‘disordered’ – there is nothing wrong with their innate processes - they are just disabled within the wider context of their environment. How do we know? Well, once the plant is given some sun, it thrives; and once an autistic person is given the right accommodations, they thrive. Doesn’t Autism only happen in children? No. Autism is most often identified in cishet boys, but this is not the only population who are autistic. People of all genders, nationalities, ages and walks of life can be autistic. As is the case with ADHD, autism is a life-long neurotype. So, whether it’s identified in childhood or not, it is there for life! Those who are not identified as autistic in childhood, are still autistic – they just might not know it, or they mask and therefore don’t present in stereotypical or traditionally noticeable ways. It’s never too late to be identified as autistic! Is Autism different for adults? Autism is autism at any age, but as is the case with ADHD, adults who are diagnosed later in life or not at all, do face extra challenges and are at risk of developing various mental health conditions as a result of living in a neurotypical-favouring world with an unidentified, unsupported, and most importantly, unembraced Autistic brain. Many people in this position go through life knowing that they are different, and working very hard to cover it up – this is called masking. It’s very easy to develop a negative self-narrative this way. Sadly, unidentified, and late-identified Autistics will often receive many mental health diagnoses before they eventually find out that they are autistic. Some diagnoses that are very common for this population include: borderline personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, major depressive disorder, social phobia, agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, bipolar, anxiety, eating disorders, complex trauma, perfectionism, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and more. Is there a cure for autism? Trying to cure autism would be like trying to cure brown hair. It can’t be done, and it shouldn’t be done. What we aim to do instead, is address the disability experienced by autistic people within the neurotypical-favouring world. We do this by helping them to re-frame negative self-narratives they may have picked up along the way, supporting them in defining and fulfilling their support needs, advocating for them, and working through any mental health concerns they may be facing. Should I get assessed? Having an assessment for autism is a personal decision. It’s important to know that one of the highest benefits that could ever come from autism identification, is accessing community, and the autistic community whole-heartedly accepts and supports self-diagnosis. So, if you are someone who has done a lot of research and introspection and you are already pretty sure about your neurotype, then you may not need a formal assessment and diagnosis. However, we highly recommend getting in touch with the autistic community, starting the healing and re-framing process with your therapist, and exploring your autistic support needs. For anyone who wants a more thorough understanding of themselves and their cognitive and educational profile, as well as evidence-based support around tailored accommodations and support access options, a formal assessment is recommended. Want to find out more? To learn more or to enquire about our Autism assessments, contact us at: info@treatyourselfwell.com.au, or give us a call on (02) 9555 4810.

Sameness is fine, it’s validating, it’s comforting, it makes us feel connected. But nothing hits quite like difference. Difference is the reason you can get on uber eats and have options beyond a burger and fries. Difference is the reason you can travel to another country and come back with stories and new perspectives. Difference is the reason why 1 + 1 does equal 3. Our world is made better by difference. That’s why nature is so completely full of it. Plants also exist in different colours, shapes and sizes. So, naturally, we develop botanical gardens, florists and nurseries so we can bask in the masses of prettiness their diversity offers. Why? Because diversity is a gift. It’s natural, it’s BEAUTIFUL! And we love it! And yet, when a beautiful, real-ass human being dares to own and embrace their natural body, they are met again and again with reactions of actual lunacy from society. We’re talking about all natural bodies here - thin, tall, short, fat, disabled, abled, trans, brown, black white, yellow, red, hairy, bald, outies, innies, toned, big, small, muscley, wrinkly, curvy, flat, whatever. None of us fully escape society’s judgement and discrimination. But some people receive much worse treatment than most, despite the very factual and scientific reality that their bodies are exactly as they should be. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of society’s judgement and discrimination based on your body, then maybe you know. Maybe you know that a simple doctor’s visit can become the most exposing, hurtful, and even terrifying experience in the world. Or that buses, trains and planes are never really safe. Maybe you know what it’s like to never feel quite good enough, or to doubt yourself constantly, or to have to work twice as hard as everyone else. Maybe you know what it’s like to miss out on opportunities for no good reason at all, or to find basic items you need, nowhere. Maybe you feel like you don’t fit in, and maybe you feel like you don’t even qualify for participation. Maybe you already know that years and years of unsolicited comments, health advice, movies, tv shows, social media, medical neglect, inappropriate facilities, dating rejections and shitty treatment from strangers will never just disappear overnight with a simple juice cleanse, or face lift, or achievement, or any kind of “perfect” under the sun. Maybe, your experience in this world has been traumatic. And maybe you’ve been convinced that your body is the problem. Let us assure you: the world has been so incredibly unfair to you. Your body is and always was fine and you deserved so much better. The body inclusivity movement is about taking on the body-judgement in society and supporting all body types equally. It’s about sending the right message, the truthful message: that you are all valid, worthy and special. Your bodies are all as they should be, and as totally fine as they are, your bodies do not define you or how you should be treated. If you have had experiences like those mentioned here, TYW psychologists are ready to hear you and hold a trauma informed and compassionate space for you for as long as you need. You will be so very embraced with us, and we encourage you to reach out to us whenever you feel ready.