Understanding Masking: The Hidden Effort Behind ADHD, Autism and AuDHD
Masking (also called camouflaging) refers to the conscious or unconscious strategies people use to hide or suppress traits associated with ADHD, Autism or AuDHD, in order to appear more "typical" in social, academic or workplace settings (Alaghband-rad et al., 2023).
For many neurodivergent people, masking isn't a choice made once. It's a quiet, constant recalibration, done dozens of times a day. It might look like forcing eye contact that feels uncomfortable, rehearsing conversations before they happen, holding in the urge to stim, or working twice as hard to appear calm and organised when everything inside feels anything but. From the outside, masking can look like coping well. From the inside, it often feels like performing.
At Treat Yourself Well, we think it's important to talk openly about masking, not to pathologise it, but to help people understand why they might do it, what it can cost them, and what a more sustainable way forward might look like.
"I don't even know what's me and what's the mask anymore." — A commonly reported reflection among late-diagnosed autistic adults, describing the identity blur that can follow years of camouflaging.
Why People Mask
Masking is often described as a response to stigma rather than a personality trait (Cage & Troxell-Whitman, 2019). Many people learn from a young age that certain behaviours draw negative attention, correction, or exclusion, so they adapt. Over time, this can become so automatic that a person may not even realise they're doing it until they stop and feel the exhaustion underneath.
Masking Across a Lifetime:
Childhood
Traits are gently (or not so gently) corrected by adults, teaching a child which parts of themselves to hide.
Adolescence
Social pressure intensifies, and masking becomes a more deliberate survival strategy at school and with peers.
Adulthood
Masking is often so automatic it feels like personality, until burnout or a diagnosis prompts a closer look.
Masking isn't unique to Autism. Research increasingly shows that adults with ADHD also camouflage, using strategies like over-preparing, over-apologising, or working hard to appear organised and "on top of things" to compensate for difficulties with attention, time management or impulsivity (van der Putten et al., 2024). The same study found that while autistic adults tend to camouflage more overall, ADHD traits specifically predicted a strong drive to blend in and assimilate, even though the underlying mechanisms may differ.
Masking in Autism
In Autism, masking commonly involves suppressing stimming, forcing eye contact, scripting conversations in advance, and mimicking the social behaviour of others (Hull et al., 2017). These strategies can genuinely help someone get through a job interview, a classroom, or a family gathering. But they come at a cost. Camouflaging has consistently been linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression and exhaustion in autistic adults, and to a phenomenon known as autistic burnout (Hull et al., 2021).
Researchers describe camouflaging as having three parts (Hull et al., 2017). These three often overlap and reinforce each other:
Masking
Hiding traits (e.g. suppressing stimming)
Compensation
Actively working around difficulties (e.g. memorising social scripts)
Assimilation
Trying to blend in and appear like everyone else
Masking is also a significant reason many Autistic people, particularly women and girls, are diagnosed later in life or missed altogether. Diagnostic tools were historically developed around how Autism presents in boys, and many autistic women describe a lifetime of "pretending to be normal" well enough that their traits went unrecognised by teachers, family and clinicians alike (Bargiela et al., 2016).
Masking in ADHD
ADHD masking looks a little different, but is no less exhausting. Because ADHD is still often associated with visible hyperactivity, people whose ADHD shows up more internally (as distraction, disorganisation or emotional intensity) can go unrecognised for years, sometimes mistaking their own struggles for a personal failing rather than a difference in how their brain works.
→ Over-preparing or over-researching before simple tasks
→ Excessive apologising for small mistakes
→ Mentally rehearsing conversations in advance
→ Forcing yourself to sit still or appear "on task"
→ Feeling like you're performing competence rather than feeling it
The Cost of Masking
Across Autism, ADHD and AuDHD, the research points to a similar pattern. Masking can help someone survive in environments that weren't built with their brain in mind, but sustained masking is linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, identity confusion and burnout (Perry et al., 2022). It can also delay diagnosis, which in turn delays access to understanding, accommodations and support.
Emotional Cost
anxiety, depression, chronic overwhelm
Identity Cost
losing touch with your own preferences and personality
Diagnostic Cost
traits go unrecognised, delaying support and accommodations
A Neuroaffirming Way Forward to the Self
This is why our approach at Treat Yourself Well is grounded in validation, balanced understanding, contextual awareness and practical insight. We recognise that masking often develops for good reason, and that unpacking it isn't about blaming anyone for the strategies they've used to cope. It's about understanding both strengths and difficulties, and the environments and expectations that have shaped them.
Our work is trauma-informed and relational. Rather than focusing only on what an assessment might reveal, we're interested in helping people you to build genuine insight into your own patterns of thinking, feeling and functioning, alongside practical considerations for how that plays out at home, school, work and in relationships. For many people, understanding why they mask is the first step toward finding out who they are underneath it. And that is what we are to help with.
Starting The Conversation
If you are considering an ADHD, Autism, or AuDHD assessment for yourself or your child, we invite you to get in touch. Starting with a conversation can help you feel more informed, grounded, and supported in deciding what feels right for you.
Assessments are conducted in line with current professional and regulatory guidelines. Outcomes and recommendations vary depending on individual circumstances.
References:
Alaghband-rad, J., Hajikarim-Hamedani, A., & Motamed, M. (2023). Camouflage and masking behavior in adult autism. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 14, Article 1108110. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1108110
Bargiela, S., Steward, R., & Mandy, W. (2016). The experiences of late-diagnosed women with autism spectrum conditions: An investigation of the female autism phenotype. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 46(10), 3281–3294. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-016-2872-8
Cage, E., & Troxell-Whitman, Z. (2019). Understanding the reasons, contexts and costs of camouflaging for autistic adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 49(5), 1899–1911.
Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). "Putting on my best normal": Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47(8), 2519–2534. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3166-5
Hull, L., Levy, L., Lai, M.-C., Petrides, K. V., Baron-Cohen, S., Allison, C., Smith, P., & Mandy, W. (2021). Is social camouflaging associated with anxiety and depression in autistic adults? Molecular Autism, 12, Article 13. https://doi.org/10.1186/s13229-021-00421-1
National Geographic. (2025). Scientists are starting to understand how autism and ADHD can overlap. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/health/article/what-is-audhd-adhd-autism-overlap-adults
Perry, E., Mandy, W., Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Baron-Cohen, S., Allison, C., Smith, P., & Lai, M.-C. (2022). Understanding camouflaging as a response to autism-related stigma: A social identity theory approach. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 52(2), 800–810. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-021-04987-w
van der Putten, W. J., Mol, A. J. J., Groenman, A. P., Radhoe, T. A., Torenvliet, C., Agelink van Rentergem, J. A., & Geurts, H. M. (2024). Is camouflaging unique for autism? A comparison of camouflaging between adults with autism and ADHD. Autism Research, 17(4), 812–823. https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.3099
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