Mental Health Awareness & Connection Month
Stress Management
When life's demands outweigh your resources to meet them, and how to bring things back into balance.
What Is Stress?
"I'm so stressed at work." "My boss is stressing me out." "I'm too stressed to think straight." Stress is something almost everyone talks about, but it's worth understanding what's actually happening underneath the word.
Stress is generally understood as a state of physiological and psychological tension that arises when the demands placed on us outweigh the resources we have to meet them (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984). Importantly, stress isn't caused by an event
alone, it's shaped by how that event is appraised.The same situation, a deadline, a difficult conversation, a change in routine, can feel manageable to one person and overwhelming to another, depending on how much control and support they feel they have.
Some stress is a normal, even useful, part of life. It becomes a problem when it's frequent, prolonged, or unrelenting, with little opportunity for the body and mind to recover in between.
What Chronic Stress Does to the Body & Mind
Short bursts of stress are something the body is well equipped to handle. Chronic, ongoing stress is a different story. When the body's stress response is activated repeatedly over a long period, it can lead to a build-up of physiological "wear and tear" on the nervous, hormonal, and immune systems (Juster et al., 2010). In everyday life, this can show up as:
Persistent tiredness or feeling wired but exhausted
Trouble sleeping, or sleep that doesn't feel restorative
Difficulty concentrating or keeping your mind on the task in front of you
- Muscle tension, headaches, or unexplained aches and pains
Digestive changes, such as an upset stomach or appetite changes
Feeling irritable, on edge, or easily overwhelmed
Left unaddressed over the long term, chronic stress has also been linked to broader health difficulties, including cardiovascular strain and immune dysfunction (Juster et al., 2010). None of this means occasional stress is dangerous, it's the sustained, unrelieved kind that tends to cause the most harm.
What Makes Us Stressed?
Stress tends to build from a combination of different demands, rather than any single source. It can be helpful to think about where your own stress is actually coming from. Most people experience stress from more than one of these categories at once, which is part of why stress can feel so hard to pin down or explain to someone else.
Major Life Events
Significant things that happen to us, positive or negative, like a new job, a relationship ending, moving house, or the loss of someone close.
Internal Demands
The expectations we hold of ourselves. Rigid or unrealistic internal rules, "I must be perfect," "I can't let anyone down," can quietly become one of the heaviest sources of stress we carry.
Environmental Demands
The practical, everyday pressures of life, financial strain, a long commute, an unpredictable schedule, that add up over time even when no single one feels overwhelming.
Interpersonal Demands
The pressures that come through our relationships with other people, whether that's tension with a partner, a difficult manager, or the ongoing responsibilities of caring for others.
Effective Stress Management Strategies
Good stress management isn't about eliminating stress altogether, that's neither realistic nor necessary. It's about building a set of strategies that work together, matched to where your stress is actually coming from. Research consistently shows that structured, cognitive-behavioural approaches to stress management produce meaningful improvements, generally outperforming relaxation techniques used on their own (Richardson & Rothstein, 2008).
Working With the Body
The physical symptoms of stress, a racing heart, shallow breathing, tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, aren't just uncomfortable side effects, they're often what keeps the stress response switched on in the first place. Breathing retraining teaches the body to shift out of rapid, shallow "chest breathing" and into slower, deeper breathing that directly signals safety to the nervous system.
Progressive muscle relaxation works in a similar way, helping you notice where you're holding tension and deliberately releasing it, often revealing just how much tightness had built up without you realising. These aren't just relaxation exercises, they're a genuine, physiological entry point into the stress cycle, and one of the few strategies that can create change in the moment, not just over time.
A Neuroaffirming, Compassion Focused,
Whole-Person Approach
At Treat Yourself Well, we don't take a one-size-fits-all approach to stress. What's driving your stress, and what will actually help, depends on your circumstances, your history, and the environments you're moving through day to day. Our approach is grounded in:
Validating
Acknowledgment
Your stress is real, and the pressures behind it are worth taking seriously, not minimising.
Balanced Understanding
We look at both the impact stress is having on you and the broader picture of what's contributing to it.
Contextual Awareness
We consider the systems, expectations, and environments that may be shaping your stress levels, not just your individual response to them.
Practical
Insight
Support that translates into genuine change in daily life, at work, at home, and in your relationships.
Respect for Every Story
You don't need to be in crisis for it to be worth having a conversation about this. It's worth reaching out for support if:
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Stress feels constant, rather than tied to a specific, time-limited situation
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You're noticing physical symptoms, poor sleep, tension, fatigue, that aren't easing
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Stress is affecting your concentration, mood, or relationships
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You feel like you're constantly "running on empty" with no real recovery time
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You're using unhelpful coping strategies (avoidance, overworking, substance use) to get through the day
To learn more or to enquire about support for stress management, contact us at: info@treatyourselfwell.com.au, or give us a call on (02) 9555 4810.
References: Cohen, S., & Wills, T. A. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 98(2), 310–357. Juster, R.-P., McEwen, B. S., & Lupien, S. J. (2010). Allostatic load biomarkers of chronic stress and impact on health and cognition. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 35(1), 2–16. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2009.10.002 Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. Springer Publishing Company. Richardson, K. M., & Rothstein, H. R. (2008). Effects of occupational stress management intervention programs: A meta-analysis. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 13(1), 69–93. https://doi.org/10.1037/1076-8998.13.1.69
What is Stress?
"Oh, I'm so stressed out at work."
"My boss is really stressing me out.."
"I'm too stressed to think about dieting right now"
Sound familiar?
All of us experience stress in our day to day lives. Modern life is highly stressful, with many demands and not enough time to carry them out. We all seem to know what another person means when they talk about being stressed. But what is stress?
Basically, stress is a state of physiological (in the body) and psychological (in the mind) tension, which occurs in response to various life pressures. Having too much stress is very destructive. Some of the detrimental effects of long-term or chronic stress include the following:
Although there is a tendency to label all our unpleasant feelings as 'depression', there are clearly some people whose depression is much more severe than others. Severe depression that occurs for no obvious reason, or that continues for a long time despite the occurrence of pleasant life events and encouragement from friends, is called `major depression' or a 'depressive disorder'.
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Tiredness
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Being easily startled
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Tension, causing headaches and pain in various muscles in the body
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Trouble keeping the mind on present activities
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Constipation or diarrhoea
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Urinating too frequently
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Trouble falling or staying asleep
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Difficulty concentrating because of
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Feeling overwhelmed or unable to
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Feeling depressed or demoralised
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Social or occupational difficulties
Any of these features may serve as a warning signal of depression although many may also occur in disorders other than depression.
Chronic stress has been linked to other serious health problems, including hypertension, coronary heart disease, and stroke. Migraine headaches, peptic ulcers, arthritis, colitis, asthma, cardiac arrhythmia, sexual problems, circulation problems, allergies, and even cancer have been linked with stress.
Having either too little or too much stress results in a deterioration of performance and unpleasant psychological and physical effects. In order to achieve and maintain an optimum level of stress, we need to have an awareness of the demands placed upon us, and adequate coping strategies to manage those demands.
What Makes us Stressed?
Stress occurs when too many demands are placed on us, or when the resources which we have to cope with stress are inadequate to deal with the demands. Demands can include:
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Major life events - significant things that can happen to us, which can be positive (getting married) or negative (the death of a loved one).
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Internal demands - these are the expectations we have of ourselves. If these are unrealistic ("I must be perfect in everything I do"), or rigid ("There is only one way to do things), they can be intolerable sources of stress. People who worry habitually may consider themselves to be sensitive and overly emotional. There are advantages in being like this since this sensitivity often means they can understand other people quickly and hence are often liked in return. But their emotionality and their proneness to worry can be a handicap. Pessimism and negativity may also generate unnecessary stress. These traits are the seeds from which anxiety problems can grow.
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Environmental demands - these are the practical, unremarkable, everyday things such as financial problems or becoming tired of our routine, that add further pressure and strain to our lives.
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Interpersonal demands - these are the pressures placed upon us through our relationships with other people. This may include stressful circumstances such as disagreements with the boss, marital disagreements, or the responsibility and frustration associated with being a parent.
Stress Management Strategies
Being able to deal with stress in an effective way can help to prevent the nasty health problems associated with stress - high blood pressure, heart disease, and ulcers. Good stress management involves using a number of different strategies which complement each other.
Stress management involves learning the following strategies:
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Combating the physical symptoms of stress - through breathing retraining and learning muscle relaxation techniques. Controlling stress at a physical level is a crucial skill to master in combating stress.
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Dealing with internal demands - we all have an internal dialogue, a conversation inside our heads, which operates in our daily life. This narrative has a major influence on our feelings and actions. Not all thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes that we hold are necessarily helpful or useful to us. Stressed people tend to think thoughts which increase their stress in everyday situations. Thoughts like these which tend to be unhelpful are known as `negative thoughts'. Stress management teaches people to identify and change those negative thoughts which are contributing to their stress levels. For example, a person might have the unrealistic belief that "I must please people all the time". This belief may then lead the person to working until all hours, in order to 'please' the boss. Cognitive behavioural stress management strategies helps the person to identify and change this belief. In this case, the person's new, modified belief may be "You can't please everyone all of the time, and I'm not going to hold onto any more unrealistic expectations of myself."
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Dealing with environmental demands - Environmental demands are the practical, unremarkable, everyday things that add further pressure and strain to our lives. There are some useful strategies which you can use to help cope with these demands. These may include learning assertiveness and communication skills, problem solving skills, goal setting, and time management.
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Looking after yourself - through diet & exercise change, getting good social support, and making sure there is lots of laughter in your life.
A Treat Yourself Well Sydney psychologist or clinical psychologist will take you through an individually tailored stress management program, suited to your unique needs. You will start to see results from the beginning of this highly effective program. Usually, 6 sessions are all that is needed to effect lasting change.
