Let's clear up some therapy myths

What happens in therapy and where do I start?

By Jess Staples (Provisional Psychologist) and Tanya Franic (Principal Psychologist)

What is it and how do we do it....

So, you’ve been thinking about going to therapy…

When people find out you’re a psychologist, the reactions are usually one of three:

“Can you read minds / are you analysing me right  now?”

Nope. No mind-reading powers  or wizadry here.

“I couldn’t listen to people’s problems all day.”

We do hear some really tough stories. But we also witness resilience, courage, growth, and the strength of the human spirit every single day. It’s a huge and genuine privilege.

“I’ve been thinking about seeing someone… but what actually happens? Does it work? How do I find a psychologist? What if I don’t like them? What if I just cry the whole time? Will they diagnose me? Are my problems even serious enough?”

This blog is here to answer those questions.

What actually happens?

The short version? Mostly we sit in comfortable chairs and talk.

Sometimes we use paper or a whiteboard (occasionally for a very questionable drawing of a brain). We’ve got games and art supplies — and yes, adults are absolutely allowed to play Uno and draw!  There’s tea, coffee, and biscuits too and you can sit on the floor too if you would prefer. We try to cater for many different needs and preferences.

The first session can feel a little daunting, so here’s what to expect:

• Your psychologist will introduce themselves.

• They’ll explain confidentiality and go through consent.

• They’ll check that you are ok to continue.

They’ll do most of the talking at the start. After that, the focus shifts to getting to know you — what’s brought you in and what you’d like to get out of therapy and it’s completely okay if you’re not sure yet.

Some people want to dive right into the deep stuff immediately – that's OK. Others take a while to feel comfortable opening up and that's OK too.

For some people, it’s extra important that therapy occurs at the their  pace and in a way that feels safe and manageable. At TYW, we work with many people who’ve experienced trauma, who struggle with food or body image, identify as neurodivergent or all three and more. Many of our clients — and some clinicians — do. If that’s you, we’ll tailor the process to suit your needs and where you’re at right now.

And then it is to the work - the treatment planning and collaboration... we navigate that path with you.

Does therapy actually work?

No single approach works for everyone. But the ongoing demand for psychology services — and the fact that people keep showing up and doing the work — tells us that many find it helpful.

For those taking medication for mental health conditions, research consistently shows that combining medication with talk therapy is more effective than medication alone. Therapy isn’t just about feeling better in the moment or being validated all the time— it’s about building awareness and skills to navigate emotions, relationships, and life’s challenges more effectively. This can be uncomfortable and it is worth it.

The research says that lots of people find that they feel quite a lot better within the first 3 or 4 sessions. For others, it can feel harder at first — especially when beginning to face things they may have avoided for a long time.

How do I find a psychologist?

You can:

• Ask friends or family for recommendations

• Speak to your GP

• Search online for services in your area

At TYW, our Client Relationship Team doubles as a matchmaking service. They know each psychologist well — their styles, strengths, and the types of clients they tend to click with — and can help suggest someone who might be a good fit.

If you get a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP, Medicare provides a rebate for up to 10 sessions per calendar year. That said, you don’t need a referral to book an appointment — you’re welcome to simply call and schedule one.

What if I don’t like my psychologist?

Then you can change.

There are many different therapeutic approaches, but research consistently shows that the most important factor in effective therapy is the quality of the theraputic relationship between client and clinician. The technical term is therapeutic alliance. In plain language: therapy works better when there is a strong alliance and you feel comfortable with your psychologist. Therapist fit and therapeutic alliance are different.

If this fit isn’t right then it can be harder to develop that alliance.

It’s often worth giving it two or three sessions — especially if you’re nervous or new to therapy — but if it’s not the right fit, that’s okay. Email our Client Relationship Team and request a switch. We promise we won’t be offended. We welcome feedback too. Every clinician has their own style, and no one clinician is the perfect match for everyone.

Our priority is helping you get the support and care you need, and we’ll help you find the right option for you.

A small but important note: Back to therapeutic alliance

If you’ve been seeing someone for a while, and you DID like them l, but suddenly feel upset or disconnected — you absolutely can change clinicians and we ask and recommend that you discuss this with your clinician first. This is called a therapeutic rupture.  In many instances, it is incredibly valuable to first talk to your psychologist about what’s happened. It’s common, and working through it can be deeply healing and promote learning and growth, even if you do decide to see another psychologist.

I’m worried I’ll just cry the entire time

That’s completely fine. We’re very comfortable with displays of emotion. And we have plenty of tissues. Crying is part of the healing process and we encourage it is to surface and not say suppressed –more on that another day.

Will they diagnose me?

Only if you want them to and we don’t describe that you way unless you want us to.

Psychologists are trained to conduct formal assessments, and we can absolutely do that if you’re seeking clarity — for example, if you’re wondering about Autism, ADHD, or learning differences in children.

For many people, the word “diagnosis” sounds scary. But really, it’s about providing a framework for broader understanding around what’s happening so we (and others) know how to help.

Diagnosis is something we all do when something isn’t working like we expected. If your car won’t start, you need to know whether it’s out of petrol, the battery is flat, or something more complex is going on. Understanding why something is occurring helps us know what to do about it.

The same is true in psychology. Two people might not be eating — one because of intense exam anxiety, another due to body image concerns. The outward behaviour looks similar, but the underlying reasons are very different. A diagnosis can provide language, direction, and clarity.

Some people prefer not to use labels. Others find them deeply validating. At TYW, we follow your lead. Diagnosis can be one piece of the puzzle — but the real goal is helping you build the understanding and skills to live the life you want.

I’m embarrassed… and I don’t know where to start

Let’s be honest — this is often the real barrier.

You might be thinking:

• “This is silly. I should be able to handle this.”

• “Other people have it worse.”

• “What if they think I’m dramatic?”

• “I don’t even know how to explain what’s wrong.”

• “What if I just cry the whole time?”

• “I’m weak if I go to therapy”

• “What if they also say this is too much?”

First: We hear embarrassment and self criticism often and it makes sense. You’re considering talking about personal thoughts, feelings, or experiences you may never have said out loud before to someone you haven't met before. Of course that feels vulnerable.

Second: you do not need a perfectly organised explanation to begin.

If you don’t know where to start, you can start there:

• “I feel awkward being here.”

• “I’m not sure this is a big enough problem.”

• “I don’t know how to put this into words.”

• “I’ve never talked about this before.”

•  “Everyone thinks I am the problem”

That is more than enough.

Part of a psychologist’s job is helping you untangle the messy middle. You don’t need a clear narrative, a dramatic crisis, or a neat summary. You just need a starting point — and sometimes that starting point is simply showing up.

It can help to remember:

• Psychologists are very hard to shock.

• We’ve heard a wide range of human experiences.

• We’re not sitting there judging you — we’re listening for patterns, strengths, and ways to support you.

If it feels easier, you can write things down beforehand and bring notes. Some people even email a few dot points before their first session. That’s completely fine.

Therapy doesn’t require confidence. It doesn’t require the “right” words. It doesn’t require you to be at breaking point.

It just requires a small amount of courage — enough to take one step.

And if you’re reading this and considering reaching out, you might already be closer than you think.

I don’t know if my problems are bad enough, it’s just normal stuff everyone deals with

It is also important to remember that There’s no minimum threshold for therapy.

People come in for all sorts of reasons: Some common reasons are feeling depressed or worried a lot, difficulty with managing emotions, coping with stress and change, grief, parenting and managing important relationships -  — or simply wanting more insight and growth.

You don’t even have to have a “big” problem. If you’re a human navigating life and think it might help to talk to someone, that’s reason enough.

In fact, we welcome you to reach out at any time…

We know making that first appointment can feel scary. If you have questions, feel free to contact TYW on (02) 9555 4810 or email info@treatyourselfwell.com.au — Karen, Julia, and Jenny will be very happy to help. 💛